The X-Chicks are getting a lift!

We are putting the final touches on the chicken coop that Will designed and built this summer.  We've learned a lot about chickens and working with them in a tractor (mobile coop).  The eat the grass quicker than we imagined!  I need to be able to move the coop daily so they have fresh grass and weeds to eat. 

We don't water our yard, we reserve water for the plants that feed us!  So, our yard had turned into a large dirt patch.  Several weeks ago, the kids and I threw out Oats, Wheat, Rye and other grains.  Instead of raking them in, I figured the grain seeds were getting good contact with the soil from all the kids running around on top of them.  Our yard is now covered in beautiful little green shoots from the grains and the chickens will be well fed this winter. 

We had to put the wheels on after dusk, when the hens were up in the roosting box asleep.  We wheeled them over to a lush area of growth so they'll have a nice breakfast in the morning.

2011 Fall Garden

To celebrate my birthday this year several sweet friends came over to help me dig beds and create additional garden space in the back yard.  Last spring I started with about 40 square feet and slowly expanded throughout the Spring and Summer to a total of 150 square feet.  We dug 3 beds at 50 square feet each plus I added a Strawberry patch, a Rhubarb patch and an Asparagus patch as well as 50 square feet of space where cover crops are doing the work to break up the soil.  All in all, our garden is nearing 500 square feet.  Expanding our growing space was made possible in part by teaming up with the Sustainable Food Centers "Spread the Harvest" program.  I have access to free plants, compost and seeds as well as tools and books.  In return, I commit to growing a little extra and donating it to soup kitchens.  Growing healthy food for my family is fun and frugal but it's fulfilling to share our food with those who are hungry.  For me, it's soul care...from planting seeds to harvesting.

the lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame.  you will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. (I. 58:11)

for as the soil makes the sprout come up and a garden causes seeds to grow, so the sovereign lord will make righteousness and praise spring up before all nations. (I. 61:11)

Here's a list of what we are growing organically and locally on our "urban homestead:"

Basil

Cinnamon Basil

Lemon Basil

Thyme

Rosemary

Oregano

Stevia

Spearmint

Peppermint

Chocolate Mint

4 varieties of tomatoes

5 varieties of peppers

Cabbage

Kale

Red Russian Kale

Broccoli (a few varieties)

Kohlrabi

Purple Kohlrabi

Radish

Carrots

Flax

Mesclun Mix 

Butter crunch lettuce

Bib lettuce

Arugula

Spinach

Swiss Chard, red and yellow

Sugar Snap Peas

Rhubarb

4 Blackberries, 2 varities (overwintering until spring) 

3 Fig trees (overwintering until spring)

Strawberries (overwintering with the hope for a thriving patch come spring)

Meyer Lemon (overwintering and looking forward to lemons!)

Asparagus (we planted 1 year old crowns and will start harvesting in 2 years)

Cover crops to break up clay soil (clovers, black oil seed radish)

Forage crops for the hens (oats, rye, wheat, millet - all spread around in the yard, they look like grass)

Fresh Eggs...if those hens out there would just get on the ball and start laying already!

We enjoy our chickens.  They eat weeds and provide high nitrogen fertilizer as well as eggs, in theory.  We've had them since July 4th.  One of the original four was a rooster, so he went back to the farm and we brought home two new hens.  It's taken a while but the two flocks seem to be getting along.  We've named the hens after female characters from the X-men comic books.  However, Adriaan had some input and decided one should be called "Bill" (not the rooster of course).  So, that hen is Rogue (aka Bill) Lafferty.  The others are Pheonix, Kitty-Pride...yeah, can't remember.  I need a refresher.  Perhaps I'll make an effort to remember their names when they start producing eggs!

Mustard Greens for dinner!

Will and Adriaan building the trellis for our Sugar Snap Peas

The Strawberry Patch, foreground!

So much Basil!

Next day we donated this to the Caritas and Salvation Army soup kitchens downtown.

Broccoli Greens, cutting them promotes head formation.

This season I have grown in courage to touch bugs.  I have been willing to actually remove cabbage lopers (little green inch worms) with my bare hands.  I take them from my broccoli plants and then toss them into the chicken coop.  The chickens go wild with delight!

All of the kids have been very helpful with this task.  They run back and forth from me to the coop with their hands gently cupped around a worm.  Dropping one is a such a sad thing, so they take extra care not to drop them.  They are my adorable little executioners, taking these plump worms to their death.  I have little compassion for these worms.  They live to eat holes in my beautiful broccoli leaves and then become moths who lay more eggs for additional hole eating worms.  Picking them off is super duper organic gardening by the way!

Perfectionism vs. Excellence

Ever since Chris Thurman, a psychologist, spoke at a recent MOPS meeting I've had these two words stuck in my head: Perfectionism and Excellence.  And, because the "worry and stress" that ate November has followed us into December I've been pondering these words as well as the word "should" and feeling overly anxious.

I feel so anxious at times that my stomach knots up.  Will showed me these verses:
Psalm 94:18-19 I said, I am falling; but your constant love, O Lord, held me up.  Whenever I am anxious and worried, you comfort me and make me glad.

Where will our new church home be?
Will we be a home school family next year?
Are we supposed to have any more children?

In Chris Thurman's talk he emphasized that a perfectionist uses the word "should" in their self talk because they are idealistic thinkers.  God calls us to excellence, to think about what is true, to be realistic thinkers.

Where will our church home be...I'm weary from transition...We've been living in a state of transition for the last nine years.  Here's the progression:
Are we going overseas?
Applied and denied.
Applied and accepted, enter into support raising mode.  Sell condo, move into disgusting duplex.  Will looses job, move in with family.
Move overseas and surprise, baby Ado is on the way.
We stay for two years instead of one.  Amsterdam is "The Black Hole of Lonliness" and I suffer through PPD with no treatment.
We move back to the US to raise more support to return to Amsterdam full-time.  Will travels all the time and I'm often a single parent feeling on the outside of our previous group of close friends.
We start attending a new church and develop meaningful relationships.
We decide to pursue adoption and get the call that they're ready for us...but surprise, we're 16 weeks pregnant with twins.
At 20 weeks we go to Amsterdam to evaluate if we feel called back with three small children.  There's a wounding conversation with someone I had trusted, realization that we won't thrive there...there's no goodbye and we decide not to go back.
Will's job situation is different now and it makes sense for us to switch churches again just weeks before the twins are born.
It had made sense to go back to our sending church because a few life long friends were still attending.  Then over time, they've left. 
I'm starting to feel like I'm in the "Black Hole of Loneliness" all over again.
...etc.

On top of the stress and resulting fatigue of transition, I'm hearing the word "should" constantly with regard to home school...
I should be able to handle this...
I should home school because that is what is best for children...(really?  is it what's best for my child?)
It shouldn't bother me so much to have little kids under my feet all day...
I  shouldn't get so overwhelmed by the noise and mess that surrounds me with the constancy of each sunrise...


The joy is in the journey, not the destination according to Chris Thurman.  But what if I'm not enjoying this season of my journey in motherhood. [gasp]  I'm worn out, exhausted from transition and it's not over yet.  We still don't have a church home.  The details of Will's job aren't finalized.  All of my planning and preparation to home school may be ripped out from under me because of my exhaustion and need for more rest.

Then there's the last question.  Are we, is God, done adding children to our family? 
I'm not getting younger.  My preference has always been to be finished with our child bearing by 35 but I can't pretend to know the plans God has for me.  I can only trust that they are good.  It could be the loss talking, but I feel incomplete.  We had dreamed of four, thought that was going to come true and then we saw it with our own eyes...no heart beat where one had been just a week before.

I feel like I'm falling Lord, hold me up.  Comfort me and make me glad, even in this anxious time.

12.5.12 - Mommying this week...

Monday - I attended "Mommy Club" where we discussed Spiritual Training of children.

Tuesday - I've been more intentional about reading and playing times with the twins.  They love Dr. Seuss books and reading sessions last 10-15 minutes before Eden is off doing something else and Sebastian wants to follow.

Wednesday - The babies and I met a friend to walk around the neighborhood near Adriaan's school.  The twins were bundled up like eskimos and enjoyed the outing.  Then, we all attended chapel at school where the Pre-K class recited Psalm 23!

After we got home and ate lunch the babies went to nap and I played games with Adriaan before Quiet Rest Time.  I am realizing that it's the only time I can do it.  The babies are asleep and I'm on my way to bed, eyelids barely open, but taking 10 minutes to play a game with him really fills up his tank and helps him to play independently while I rest.

Thursday - The babies and I went to the Sustainable Food Center, always a fun outing.  There is a fountain and an elevator as well as a wall of seed packets that look so beautiful and each one makes a wonderful sound when shaken.  I was trying to find organic squash seeds to get started after the holidays, but sadly they only had conventionally grown seed available.  Perhaps in a few more weeks.

Friday - MOPS day!  Then I was worn out and took a nap.  I spent most of the MOPS time on the phone arguing with the surgery scheduler about Seb's upcoming surgery.  I was trying to convince her that a mid-day appointment was rediculous for a two year old who would be expected to fast from everything including water until the surgery time!  After four separate calls there was magically an opening on December 29th at 8am.  Why we weren't given that time in the beginning, I have no idea!

That evening Mimi came into town for The City School Christmas Program called Lessons and Carols.  The K and Pre-K classes sang "Away in a manger" and it was adorable.

-----

Adriaan's first semester at City School is over.  He'll be skipping next week while Will and I travel to Orlando for the company Christmas party.  I've noticed wonderful improvements in many academic areas like writing and drawing.  I've seen significant increases in confidence in front of people, at the recitation and the christmas program.  He was up in front of a couple hundred people and didn't cry!  It's been a year and a half since the attempted piano recital where he crumpled and wasn't able to play, which was fine because we wanted to give him a chance.  He wasn't ready then, but he's matured and was brave.  He did very well along side his classmates!

If you ask him, he'll tell you that his favorite part of school is recess.  Our little extrovert.

Surgery for Seb

Sebastian was born with a little growth on the bottom of his right foot, specifically on the heel.  We monitored it with our pediatrician and around 15-18 months it seemed to start bothering Seb.  We were referred to a pediatric surgeon and scheduled a date to remove the growth.  Just in time!  Seb was so bothered by the bump that he reverted to crawling, he refused to walk on his foot.  Crawling didn't allow him to keep up with Eden and he was quite unhappy about missing out on fun.

Blowing kisses before first surgery in June 2011

By August, the growth was back and by October it was bigger than before the surgery.  So, we went back to the pediatric surgeon.  His suggestion was to see a pediatric dermatologist in case there was a non-surgical option.  There isn't.  So, we went to a pediatric plastic surgeon who ordered an MRI.

Seb biked into the MRI room and did well with anesthesia.

Waking up wasn't as fun.  He has a really hard time.

So, surgery with the pediatric plastic surgeon is scheduled for 29 Dec at 8am at Dell Children's Hospital.  This surgery is much more invasive.  It'll involve a skin graft and Seb will be fully sedated for over two hours.

Many prayers have been answered so far, we're trusting God to continue to take care of our Sebbie.

Nutcracker

Adriaan and I attended the Nutcracker Ballet this afternoon, here is what I can remember from our conversation on the way home:

Me:  Ado, what did you think?
Ado:  Well, ya know mama, it wasn't as fun as playing basketball.  Did you know it wouldn't be as fun as playing basketball?  It was just a little bit boring.
Me:  Did you enjoy it even though it was a little bit boring?
Ado:  Hmm, no.  Not really.
-----
Me:  What was your favorite part of going to the Ballet?
Ado:  Oh, it was getting to go to the water fountain!  And also, getting to see the little toy Nutcracker things that were too expensive for us to buy but nice to look at...you know the ones with the moving mouths to crack nuts!

Sinterklaas

I would eventually like to post pictures here from our Sinterklaas 2011 celebration.